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Toddler fight! (And the apologetic aftermath ...)
Remember the days when you thought your toddler was, for the most part, a gentle, cute, cuddly kid? How 'bout the shame and shudders that followed, when your blissful world was rocked? Welcome to my First Official Toddler Fight, complete with scratching, crying, and visible damage. I'm not proud at what went down. I had some instincts to go on for parenting, but would love advice and/or war stories in the comments.
robotoys.com
It was like this, without the robots ...
My husband and I had a "teaching moment" this week from a fight my 2-year-old son was in at daycare. I got the full scoop when I went to pick Cip up in the late afternoon. I could tell something was up when Cip began looking away and fidgeting as one of the teachers started to tell me what happened. She said he grabbed "J", one of his best buds, and was holding on tight to his face, and hurting "J".
"Cip ... why? Say sorry ... what happened?" I said to him, trying to communicate close to his face, in a calm but serious voice. He kept looking away, which is definitely odd behavior for him.
Another teacher added, "Cip told me 'No!' and said 'No!' to her as well," when they tried to break up the fight. "Her" refers to the other teacher. I know kids argue and tussle over toys and other stuff. That's inevitable. But, it's tough to know why my son decided to go agro on his pals at daycare since he wasn't talking and I wasn't there to see what happened. Read More »
| January 14 2010 at 04:06 PM
The Santa Tantrum Awards are here!
Courtesy Amanda Mercer
Making a run for first place.
Below are the winners of our 2009 Santa Tantrum Awards. This wasn't just difficult to judge in respect to our previous contests, but possibly the hardest contest to judge in the history of competition itself.
There were no losers. But only the people below should contact me at phartlaub@sfchronicle.com to engage in the long and slightly complicated but ultimately rewarding process of claiming your prizes.
Apologies to those who sent entries over the past week and didn't get included in the official field. You can re-submit your photos in 2010.
Behold, the 2009 winners!
The 2008 winners can be seen here, the 2007 winners can be seen here and the 2006 winners can be seen here.
Read More »| December 29 2009 at 07:16 AM
One more Santa tantrum before tomorrow's awards ...
Thanks for your patience with this year's Santa Tantrum Awards. Judging is proving next to impossible. But even if I have to pick the victorious screaming children out of a hat, I'll post the winners first thing in the morning.
Courtesy Scott Ard
A "Mad Men"-era Santa tantrum?
In the meantime, I wanted to share this epic possibly early 1960s photo from Scott Ard, which doesn't make the cut because A) It violates our rule that disqualifies photos from previous generations; and B) It came in really, really late. But I still had to share, because it's just so fantastic. All three kids seem to be screaming in a different direction, while Santa appears to be either drunk or insane or both. Bonus points for the venue (old Emporium in San Francisco), the Michael Douglas "Falling Down" eyewear and the sisters in matching clothes, which recalls another The Poop contest ...
Here's Scott's note:
I know you said no pics of kids who are now adults, but I just have to share this classic. It's of my wife, her twin sister and their older brother at the old Emporium in San Francisco (note the script "E" at the top of the picture). Not only do they look like they are about to go over a waterfall in a barrel, but Santa has a devilish look (and an iron grip) that appears to justify their terror.
-- Scott Ard
Thanks, Scott!
We may have to do a Santa Tantrum legacy contest next year -- we've been receiving too many good Nixon-era and Kennedy-era Santa tantrums. In the meantime, look for the 2009 Santa Tantrum Awards winners tomorrow a.m.
| December 28 2009 at 11:02 AM
The Santa Tantrum Awards field is here -- vote now!
Thanks for all your Santa Tantrum Awards 2009 entries. This year's official field is below. As you'll see, the task of picking the winners is going to be pretty much impossible.
Courtesy Dina Ferreira-Stoddard
Run away ... it's the Santa Tantrum Awards!
My apologies to anyone whose entries didn't appear. Several of the photos wouldn't download, and others didn't meet the criteria of the contest. (I'm allowing a few photos that are a year or two old, but don't allow picture of now-adults who were kids in the 1960s, 70s or 80s. Maybe I'll post some of those separately later this week ...) I'm not planning to accept more than a few additional entries, but if you have something mind-blowing, please send it to phartlaub@sfchronicle.com and I'll try to slip a few in before we announce the winners later this week.
You're welcome to vote for your favorite in the comments below. You can give a shout out to your own kid but DO NOT get all of your friends and neighbors to engage in a commenting campaign on their behalf. It becomes really obvious to the rest of us, and won't change anything when it comes to deciding on a winner.
Thanks to everyone who entered! Enjoy the costumes and all the great stories ...
(Note to Super-Crafty Halloween Costume Contest winners -- I haven't forgotten about you. I'm just incredibly slow, taking an average of four months for me to organize the prizes on any given contest ...) Read More »
| December 21 2009 at 06:33 AM
Your Cabbage Patch insane shopper moment
Longtime readers of this blog may remember Gen and Conor McNulty, parents of quads and longtime role models to The Poop. They (and their adorable kids) won our Santa Tantrum Awards contest a couple years back, and I interviewed Gen. I've been following their entertaining blog ever since.
pollsb.com
The dream house turned into a nightmare ...
I've been wanting for years to introduce a "what's your scariest holiday shopping moment" topic, where we share stories about the time a screaming match broke out over a lone Nintendo Wii, or as children we watched seven people get hospitalized in a knife fight over the last Cabbage Patch doll. (Be proud, Generation Xers -- our parents pretty much invented this s---.) But I have no good examples. I hate crowds, and only go to malls at 11 a.m. on a Tuesday.
Gen has a really good example, which I've excerpted below. Please read her entire post at the Quadville blog, and then return here to our comments to discuss your own insane shopping moment ...
12:10 pm - Enter Toys R Us. Put Barbie dream house into cart.
12:12 pm - Turn down tool isle in search of a work bench for a our little dude
12:13 pm - Kneeling down, looking over my choices.
12:13 pm (and 29 seconds ...) - Hear a rustling to my left.
12:13 pm (and 30 seconds ...) - Stand up to find a blond-haired, 30-something mommy, kinda like me, STEALING THE DOLL HOUSE OUT OF MY CART! I'm not kidding. Read More »
| December 18 2009 at 06:42 AM
Sketchy Santas have their own site
One of the running themes of our Santa Tantrum Awards over the years has been the creepiness of some of the Santas. If Boo Radley taught us nothing, it's that you can't judge a book by its cover. I'm sure some of our more psychotic-looking Santas are really fine men.
Courtesy Leslie Chang
Is that you, Dick Cheney?
But I'm still surprised at what some malls, community centers and church groups are willing to pass off as St. Nick. You want me to sit on his lap. No wonder so many of these kids are crying ...
With that said, I was excited when Erick Wong -- a Chronicle colleague, fellow video game reviewer and loyal The Poop reader -- sent me this link to the www.sketchysantas.com site. It's basically a shrine to some of the most crazy, over-enthusiastic and outright dangerous-looking Santa Claus impersonators in the world.
I think my favorites are the "Mad Men"-era Santas from the 1950s and 1960s, who have a tendency to look a little more drunk and/or unhinged than the modern ones. (One more way that this generation definitely had it better than the boomers.) Fake beards also make the Santas about five times sketchier -- especially if the beard is slightly askew.
(The picture to the right was one of the winners from last year's Santa Tantrum Awards, and is not on sketchysantas.com ... yet ...)
| December 10 2009 at 07:02 AM
Santa Tantrum Awards ... we have a frontrunner
Wondering what we look for in a winning Santa Tantrum Awards submission? Look no further than this epic photo, sent to me on Friday from Natalie Koprowski -- featuring her 2-year-old twins and 15-month-old boy.
Courtesy Natalie Koprowski
Someone wishes he took that job at Hot Topic ...
Yes, all of the kids are freaking out, which is a key component for a memorable Santa Tantrum photo. But it's all the little things that make Natalie's entry a sure-fire contender. A few details you may have missed ...
1. First, and most importantly, Santa's sanity is hanging on by a thread. Give this mall Santa credit for not dropping the kids -- it's the St. Nick equivalent of Michael Crabtree holding onto the pass while getting plastered by a linebacker. But he's long since gone out of character, and appears to be closing his eyes and praying for the pain to stop. (Since we started this contest, I've come to respect these Santas. Only metermaids take more abuse.)
2. The children got creative. I may be reading way too much into this, but at least one of the older kids appears to have licked the candy cane into a point, and is about to stab Santa in the knee. Premeditated violence = Santa Tantrum Award bonus points.
3. No footwear on the little kid. Again, this may be my imagination, but it appears as if the 15-month-old in the middle has literally screamed himself out of his shoes. (You would be surprised how many little kids we see on Santa's lap with one or no shoes.)
Thanks, Natalie! Your kids and photo are awesome.
We'll be accepting photos until Christmas Eve, although I'll probably post a gallery as early as next week. The rules are available here.
| December 03 2009 at 11:36 AM
The Santa Tantrum Awards are back!
We sponsor a lot of random contests on The Poop. By far the most prestigious is the Santa Tantrum Awards, which celebrates the iconic image of a child crying or screaming on St. Nick's lap. This year marks the fifth Santa Tantrum Awards in four years. (We had two in 2006 -- one in December and one in July. Don't ask. That was a weird year for the blog ...)
Courtesy Sarie Scully
Last year's winner ...
Were starting the process a little early this year. I'm worried that last year's incredible entries -- I've included them after "Read More" -- will be impossible to top, so I'm giving everyone a little more of a running start.
The Rules: Help us welcome the holiday season by e-mailing a photo of your baby or toddler -- or yourself as a baby or toddler -- crying on Santa's lap to phartlaub@sfchronicle.com. No repeats from previous years, don't send someone else's photo and please don't do anything to make your child cry. Feel free to write a short to describe the scene -- unless you note otherwise, I'll assume your name and anything you write is OK to post on the blog.
Bonus points if the department store Santa looks like he's in physical pain, or if there's a second non-crying child with an angelic look on their face. Photos of children crying next to Menorahs and Kwanzaa paraphernalia are equally welcome, of course.
Here are the winners from the holidays in 2007 and 2006. The winners from 2008 are below. Good luck! Read More »
| November 23 2009 at 07:12 AM
The baby is here ... now get the hell out of my house!
One of our regular readers, about to have her first baby, sent an e-mail the other day with a common but little-discussed dilemma: Both sets of grandparents are coming from out of state before and after the baby arrives, and staying in her small apartment. While the new mother is welcoming of these guests -- it's the first grandchild for both -- she humbly requested that everyone except mother, father and baby stay overnight somewhere else for the first two or three days that the baby is home.
mediabistro.com
Martha says: This silk flower will make a nice tablescape ... now GET THE #$%& OUT OF MY HOUSE!
"This is causing some hurt feelings for our parents, and we are feeling pressured to reconsider,"
she wrote. "So, I was wondering how the Poop readership feels about grandparents staying overnight from Day One of new baby? Did any of them experience this, and if so, was it helpful or burdensome? Do they/you have any advice for those very first few days, especially when it comes to dealing with grandparents?"Funny you should ask. My wife and I discuss this frequently, and I have some very strong feelings on the subject. This philosophy can be summed up in two sentences: The new mother decides what she wants. Everyone else except for the doctor can shut their mouths and do as they're told.
Parenting scholars are going to want a clinical name for this theory, so let's call it the Martha Stewart Rule of Post-Labor Servitude. In short, everyone who wants to be involved with this baby for the first few days of its life must pretend that they are working for Martha Stewart. (The new mother is Martha in this scenario.) Pre-existing relationships will be put on hold for this short period of time -- domineering mothers will suck it up and defer to their daughters, bossy siblings will chill out -- and everyone will act like the first-day intern who must consider every instruction ultra-carefully because they might get fired for picking up the wrong kind of coffee.
Some more advice below. Please add your own input in the comments: Read More »
| September 11 2009 at 07:02 AM
You snooze, you lose: when life revolves around nap time
For years, sleep issues dominated our lives as parents. Neither of our kids suffered from colic or had trouble calming down to nod off, but each would have the occasional bad night (so, consequently would we), and neither of them were good nappers. When other moms would talk about how they were able to clean the house, make dinner and knock off a chapter of their novel during their kid's daily three-hour nap, I was incredulous. We'd be lucky if our kid stayed down for 45 minutes or an hour, and we often had to drive him or her around for half an hour to make it happen at all.
christmas-lullabies.com
Nap time: accept no substitute ...
Parents know how truly important it is for your kid to get a good nap in. When we'd pick up our toddler at day care and the cheery caregiver's daily report would conclude with the dreaded addendum, "Oh, and he didn't take a nap today," we knew we were in for a miserable evening.
Naps dominated our social life for many years, too. Our kidless friends would invariably schedule social events smack dab in the middle of nap time. So there you are on the phone, politely asking if your host wouldn't mind rescheduling the luncheon for 3 p.m., as silent, steaming tension fills the dead air on both ends of the line. It was such a relief when our kids passed through the napping stage, that even though they're teenagers now, we still find ourselves occasionally reveling in the freedom of not having to plan our lives -- and our friend's lives -- around naps.
Of course these days our kids do their napping in the mornings. Teenagers are notoriously late sleepers. Noon is an average wake-up time in this jobless summer, and we've even witnessed a few 1 p.m. risings. If they emerge by 11, I find myself asking, "How come you're up so early? You going somewhere?"
Read More »| July 30 2009 at 07:03 AM
