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"Lost" Spoiled Bastard, Vol. 2. One or two wild notions. One sane idea. Let's get lost.
Oh, wait, religion too?
FYI: The Bastard Machine is on Facebook. Also: Twitter.
Upon further review...I'm wondering if it's time well spent trying to deconstruct anything about "Lost." (Though I'm going to, shortly.) Not that in the past I've done nearly the intense, analytical take I've given to "Mad Men" or "Breaking Bad" or "The Sopranos." I've always believed that "Lost" was too philosophically immense to tackle - or too flat out in love with its own intricate (or confusing) mythology. And there were people on the InterWebs willing to devote hours to it. Me, I've got a life. I love "Lost," but not enough to go insane detailing it.
Which brings me to my friend Ian's accidental Zen treatise on Formula 1 racing and life. (I know...but it does...so bear with me.) He said that drivers, at least in the past, were taught to take their hands off the wheel as the lightning fast, dangerous cars went flying into a wall. Once you knew you were going to hit and there was no saving it, drivers would take their hands off the wheel to avoid a twisting steering-wheel torque that would break their wrists. And that's like life. Sometimes, you can't control your destiny any longer. You need to take your hands off the wheel. Don't obsess. And so my sane idea is to do that with "Lost." Let the episodes unfold and we'll figure out what it means in the end. I'll check in after each episode with a few theories and give you a forum to air ideas or vent, but I'm not going too deeply down that rabbit hole.
Hugh Everett III
Except for this one time. I'll propose a theory of what might happen this season, which amplifies my mini-post yesterday that spoke of "Parallel Worlds, Parallel Lives," the brilliant documentary on Hugh Everett III, who came up with a mind-bending, mathematical theory of quantum physics/quantum mechanics that was so far ahead of his time it had disastrous effects on him and his family (his son is Mark Everett, aka E of the band The Eels). Basically - very basically, because this is a heavy load, if you know what I mean - Hugh Everett proposed a theory of parallel worlds, where you exist somewhere else with every decision you make. And not just one version of you, but possibly many. Later it was renamed the "Many Worlds Theory" and remains, to this day, acceptable and sound among many physicists (even though they say it's hard even for them to get their heads around). I recommend you find a copy of the one-hour documentary if you can, because it deftly simplified many abstract, profound scientific ideas while also telling a great father-son story and, of course, featuring the music of the Eels. (Wait, you can watch the first part here. And the second part here.) And if you want to read more on Everett's theory, this is a pretty good explanation, as is this from the PBS website.
I think it's obvious "Lost" is going with this parallel world idea as a fascinatingly unique storytelling conceit. Because this way they can have it both ways. The 2007/2004 island and "real life" split. If Faraday's wild plan "worked," as Juliet said from her grave, then the "Lost" producers can show a "what if" world that really does exist, while also focusing on the here and now of the island, where it seems like nothing's changed (though it obviously has in many ways). Now, before getting too far into what "Lost" can do with Everett's "multiverse" theory (and dramatically, the possibilities are infinite given that there can be multiple copies of the same person doing completely different actions), one thing here is VITALLY important: Everett's theory suggests that all of these various version of YOU, let's say, or Jack or Locke, never actually meet back up. There is no contact. If I had to wager a guess, I'd say the "Lost" producers are going to have the people who landed safely in Los Angeles at some point get drawn back to the island, or vice-versa. Somehow, the two (the many?) shall meet. Hopefully they'll avoid that idea, but from a storytelling angle it might be too good. The parallel universes will meet or have some crossover. But that's not scientifically sound.
pbs.org
Does this mean he can do two Eels concerts simultaneously?
What I would like to see, as a critic, is something that fuses science with a more metaphysical, big picture notion that stays true to each. Meaning "Lost" could use science to prove, via Everett's theory, that versions of each character exists in time and those versions don't have any knowledge of prior relationships and thus would act, accordingly, like strangers. "Lost" could follow those lives as a "what if" scenario but could revisit, on a metaphysical level, the inhabitants of the island and tell their stories separately. That would allow the writers to tie up story lines on both ends and those conclusions could be entirely separate from one another. Would that duality satisfy fans? On one level, I would venture yes, though the producers would be called out for copping out. But they've already acknowledged not everyone will be happy, so how do you end a richly-textured six-season series? By doing whatever makes you happy.
As I see it, there are still some complicating scenarios. First, you have to explain in some way the notion of metaphysics - that your characters are experiencing perceptions beyond the physical world that can't be readily explained rationally. The notion that they landed on the island via a plane crash is handy because it works even without first layering on the Island/Desmond/Hatch idea. Let's just say, scientifically, the plane malfunctioned and crashed. That's why they are there. In a metaphysical world, the explanation of how you got there and why you're there lends itself to expansive, mind-blowing theories (see: Island/Desmond/Hatch, etc.) after the fact. That's where the "Lost" mythology can run rampant.
A second problem is that the mythology has, indeed, run rampant. The producers have brought in religion, Egyptlogy and even elements of the occult and secret societies. It's all glorious fun, but if viewers demand you explain it all away in the end, well, as a storyteller you then you have to fess up to dabbling in the esoteric for dramatic purposes instead of, say, espousing only one narrative theory (like Everett's which could be explained away with a mathematical equation and a leap of faith; or Egytology, which could be explained away by symbolism, history, art and perhaps a leap of faith into religious antiquity). But that's fine. Most people understand that "Lost" is borrowing liberally from all kinds of theories and beliefs and mixing them into a potent little cocktail. Even better, the producers have said that life is a mystery and some things just never get explained. That's a very, very handy card to play when you've created a mind-bending genre series.
The benefit of a scientific explanation and a metaphysical explanation running side-by-side is that they can both be explained, though if viewers adhere strictly to naturalism then this is going to be a problem. I think people who are watching "Lost" and looking for concrete answers to "why" the characters are there and "what" the island really is are watching the wrong show. This is a series that holds relativism close to its storytelling heart and if you can't go along for that ride - fundamentally, if you can't abide the "what if" sensibility - then you are bound to be disappointed. In many ways, it's like religion vs. science. You either have faith or need evidence. (And yes I understand that science demands its own logic-challenging leaps as well - look no further than the "Many Worlds Theory").
I think hashing out what you want from "Lost" right now before it moves too far along is important (and fun, actually). It says a lot about who you are and what you want out of a TV series. I think if you've come this far - and you're not one of those people who bailed in Season 1 or Season 2 and continue to complain about its shortcomings - then you'll be properly satisfied with whatever Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse come up with. What I've enjoyed most about "Lost" is that it dared to think big, that it wanted to dabble in religion and science and metaphysical and existential issues. Ambition is what makes great television. The reason I'm still watching into this sixth season is because the writers have gone beyond being interested in cobbling the issues above into some kind of "mythology" but have, with admirable flair, created a cast of characters that I care about. None of the rest would matter if you didn't care about the characters.
But let's conclude with this notion of what you want from the ending. I don't expect answers to everything because I know, as I discussed earlier, that the writers have created a recipe they can't possibly recite back to anyone with any clarity. That's OK. It was fun to watch. But I DO want the basic ingredients of that recipe explained. I like the "Parallel Worlds, Parallel Lives" element. It's both trippy and possible, scientifically. And I'm open to the awesome, untapped power of the mind, so you can even sell me on the metaphysical island existence. The trick is explaining them to me in a believable way that doesn't need a bong or a spaceship to get me there. I'll even take the nosebleed if you toss in the whispering, the numbers, Jacob and The Man In Black. And maybe Richard. And something about Walt. I'll be waiting. And watching.
| February 04 2010 at 02:33 PM
"Lost" Spoiled Bastard, Vol. 1: "Parallel Worlds, Parallel Lives."
The reason that headline says "Vol. 1" for this Spoiled Bastard on "Lost" is that I've got a massive nosebleed and I can't think. Actually, I'm teaching a class, writing about the Winter Olympics, tending sick kids and listening to the Eels, the latter in a desperate attempt to set my head straight about what happened last night on "Lost." You'll get that reference by reading this review I wrote of a fantastic documentary in 2008 called "Parallel Worlds, Parallel Lives" on PBS. Basically it says what you saw on "Lost" could actually happen. Of course, it would probably less confusing in real life. Or, "real life." But anyway, I'll return sometime today when I've got the time to do a bit more thinking on the "Lost" premiere. In the meantime, I figure fans might need a brain dump or a place to suggest theories. Have at it. My only two cents, critically, at this point is a bit of advice: We will ultimately judge the success of Season 6 when it's all over, not on the first two hours.
| February 03 2010 at 11:08 AM
Power Rankings! "Damages" happen to the top tier. British invasion. Reruns cause flux. Love arrives.
Welcome to the "Power Rankings!" for the week ending Jan. 31. Midseason is off and running - or, rather, skipping - and it's hard to know whether to be annoyed at reruns or happy for the break to sample new shows. In either case, we've got a new No. 1 this week. And next week "Lost" is eligible. We feel the heat rising. So let's go. If you want to find out how the Power Rankings! are compiled and how they started, click here. FYI: The Bastard Machine is on Facebook. And Twitter. And we're off:
| RANK | SHOW | PREVIOUS | TREND | COMMENT |
| 1 | Damages |
N/A | ↔ | While there's legitimate worry that Season 3 of "Damages" could go sideways in the same painful way that engulfed Season 2, damn if this didn't come out of the gates looking strong in Ep. 1. The Madoff-like storyline could work out nicely and perhaps Lily Tomlin and Martin Short will be used better than Marcia Gay Harden and William Hurt last year. Impressive and seductive. Damn you, "Damages." |
| 2 | Caprica |
2 | ↔ | The post-pilot episode managed to keep up with the potential of the pilot, though the late freakout seemed more than a little forced. (It's rectified in the next episode rather well, so it was hard to knock it too much...). Zoe as a Cylon from everyone else's perspective and completely flesh-avatar-normal from her own perspective will take some getting used to and the jury is still out on whether that's going to be acceptable. The key to the series will be finding a likable character and quick. Right now we have patience. |
| 3 | Men Of A Certain Age |
3 | ↔ | Strangely enough in this continuously surprising run, we just haven't heard many people talking about "Men." Is it not connecting? Historically, good cable dramas have taken at least one season to bring in a dedicated following and cash in on latecomers and good ink, so we'll see what happens the rest of the way and in the off-season. But from where we sit, there hasn't been much to turn away from - and it holds this ranking down another week with ease. |
| 4 | Human Target |
5 | ↑ | Absolutely. We're in. Go blow something up or do something dangerous. Here we are now, entertain us. A job well done so far and no, we're not going to call this a guilty pleasure. Hmmm, wonder how "24" is doing this week. |
| 5 | Fringe |
6 | ↑ | In case you missed the trend here, there's nothing funny in the Top 5. A first, we think, since starting the Power Rankings! The dreaded "winter finale" - equally as lame as the "fall finale" - hits this show after next week's episode. That brings us down. Nothing like a good old fashioned Nazi killing to keep the wheels of intrigue running on "Fringe." And next episode promises to be a big one. |
| 6 | Better Off Ted |
7 | ↑ | Don't dream it's over, "Ted." Well, we can all hope that the final two episodes will air, but hope is a lame horse in the business of television. That ABC would give the retrofitted and neutered "Scrubs" another look is beyond us. But we're too busy lighting candles and sending smoke signals to Fox to really care. If this was the end, it was a daring, deranged and hilarious run. |
| 7 | The InBetweeners |
N/A | ↔ | This British comedy exploded on BBC America last week (you can catch reruns on demand) and we regret not giving it a full review as planned. Part "Freaks & Geeks," part "Superbad" and a whole lot of irreverent, fearless Brit wit make this coming of age story about sex and alcohol mad high schoolers so much fun. Now, granted, we are watching the uncut British version and the chorus of complaints about BBCA editing is always loud and angry. So, sure, the uncensored bits might make it all more funny, but you can laugh along when the DVD comes out. No matter what they do to it, they can't kill that teenage feeling. A superb combination of embarrassment, fear, free-floating parental rage, sexual tension, the smell of a pint and terrible ideas that go wrong. Among other funny traits. BBCA will run the first two seasons back-to-back. Don't miss it. And welcome to the Top 10. |
| 8 | Archer |
10 | ↑ | A quick two-step bounce thanks to a whole bunch of other comedies in reruns. It doesn't hurt that Jeffrey Tambor stopped by for a cameo, though you might have missed him. "Archer" may not have reached the creative heights of its pilot, but every week has been ridiculous and random and we remain both committed and entertained. |
| 9 | The Daily Show |
9 | ↔ | Jon Stewart and the "Daily Show" folks are doing God's work day in and day out. |
| 10 | Burn Notice |
12 | ↑ | Another show that benefits from an abundance of reruns. But let's be clear here - there's nothing wrong with a little light action and witty banter. You need shows like this on the list. They cut the tension of "Damages" and give you reason to do something other than stare at the introspection of post-tragedy "Caprica." | 11 | Parks and Recreation |
8 | ↓ | If you're going to have a rerun, it might as well be one of your best all season long. Still the Comeback Series of the Year. Yep, even in 2010. |
| 12 | Modern Family |
1 | ↓ | First off, yes, that's the biggest fall we've ever seen in the Fabulous Fifteen. Second, let this be a lesson to shows that get pre-empted or have reruns: Our tolerance is low. Third, no, it's not deserved. But what are you going to do? The rankings are getting more fierce each week. But our rule is not to drop a series off the list just because it had a rerun or missed an episode. Unless it can't be avoided. So that explains the free-fall. Let's bring some heat next week. |
| 13 | 30 Rock |
4 | ↓ | Another plummet series. And some of you may call this charity, because you've probably figured out that some series putting out original episodes didn't even make the list. But again - one week is not going to seriously threaten a great series. If they were better than another show for weeks on end, why supplant them. So, no "Chuck." You'll have to deal with it. "30 Rock" earned the respect. |
| 14 | "How I Met Your Mother." |
11 | ↓ | You sense the trend here. We like original episodes. But we don't like original episodes of series that weren't going to be here for the long run and annoyed us to begin with. So, yes, "24" can just eat it. At least "How I Met Your Mother" kept rolling each week and only has bad accents on purpose. |
| 15 | Big Love |
N/A | ↔ | Remember all the hoo-haw about not getting bumped if you have a rerun? Well, there's an asterisk to that rule. If a LOT of shows have reruns, plus new series premieres, AND you clocked in at a very tenuous No. 15 the prior week, you are very vulnerable. So "Community" is ousted. But the story here is "Big Love." Just because we think too much is happening too quickly and the series feels less like itself than it ever has, it's too good to not make the Power Rankings! when producing original episodes while a bevy of others take a break. Will it stick? Who knows? With all that soap, it's slippery. |
FALLING:
Goodbye "Chuck," "24" and "Community." That's quite a toll. It doesn't get any easier next week.
Reminder: If you're looking for "Friday Night Lights," we decided to wait until the NBC version airs before considering it for inclusion. Not enough people get DirecTV.
RISING?:
Well, we're waiting on "The Office." You know "Lost" is going to make it. Either "Chuck" or "Community" could make a push. We'll have to see how it shakes out.
SUNK!:
Is "24" worth the salvaging? Now taking thoughts on that. And even though this section is reserved mostly for losers, the writing is on the wall for "Better Off Ted," and that makes us sad. You deserved better. It's like ABC became Veridian Dynamics.
| February 02 2010 at 07:30 AM
Let's get "Lost." What answers do you want as it ends?
Well, that's pretty simple, isn't it? Season 6 of "Lost" begins on Tuesday at 8 p.m. on ABC with a "Final Chapter" look back to get everybody all refreshed on the mysteries. All those nose-bleed moments from Season 5 will be recapped. Then, at 9 p.m. the two-hour premiere of the final season. Word is, you won't have to wait long before the answers start coming. But let's be honest, not every mystery will be solved. The producers have already said that. And yet, there's certainly an obligation to close some loop holes. To wrap-up story lines. And yet everybody I talk to wants something different in the way of must-be-answered questions. Every list is different. So, heading into Tuesday's premiere, what questions do must be answered? And if you're feeling generous, what do you hope happens to the characters? And...go. (Cue white flash.)
| January 31 2010 at 12:49 PM
Televisory: Don't miss "The InBetweeners" on BBC America.
Because I was weighted down with the task of watching the first two "Damages" episodes last week and coming up with a column about whether you should watch or not, I was prevented from riffing on a new sitcom on BBC America that I absolutely love called "The InBetweeners." Luckily, fellow critic James Poniewozik of Time checked in on the matter. So: what he says. Also, here's the BBC America site for the show where you can see clips and get an episode guide. Based on the first two episodes I've seen, it's heading right into the Power Rankings! next week.
| January 29 2010 at 05:27 PM
Power Rankings! A new No. 1. Less flux, more charity. New shows lurking.
Welcome to the "Power Rankings!" for the week ending Jan. 24. It was the second week of the nebulously titled "midseason," but we've dropped plans to label these as Week 2, Week 3, etc., given that we've been doing them for ages and restarting seems dumb and confusing. Of note: Shows that just got back to their in-pattern screenings may be upended again in future weeks, so that will add flux to the rankings. Of course, we'll also be getting plenty of new series. In fact, the battle for No. 1 will heat up a lot next week with the inclusion of "Damages" and the week after that with "Lost." Strap in. Let's go. If you want to find out how the Power Rankings! are compiled and how they started, click here. And we're off:
| RANK | SHOW | PREVIOUS | TREND | COMMENT |
| 1 | Modern Family |
2 | ↑ | This is one of those great (and rare) TV stories. Not only is "Modern Family" hilarious, it's also popular. That doesn't happen much with acclaimed comedies. Almost no missteps this season, too, for "Mod Fam." So let's welcome the rookie sensation to its first ever No. 1 ranking. A tip of the hat from Barkley, the butler dog. |
| 2 | Caprica |
N/A | ↔ | A superb pilot (and yes, we know that so many fans watched it on DVD and not as Syfy put on the small screen last week). It may not end up being "Battlestar Galacica," but neither is it meant to be. As a prequel, the pilot set the stage for a different story with both familiar ties and new directions. That's all you can ask - and the truth is that the pilot probably delivered more than we even expected. It looked great, it held our interest and we want more. That's how you kick off a series. Whether it dips or not later doesn't matter. We liked the start. Bring on a new mythology. |
| 3 | Men Of A Certain Age |
3 | ↔ | Arguably one of the bigger surprises in the drama genre this season, the enjoyable, bittersweet, funny and earnest "Men Of A Certain Age" will face its biggest test in the upper echelon of the rankings next week, when "Damage" is eligible. It may be a litmus test for TNT, which has yet to make a drama that can compete ferociously with the cable fare from HBO, Showtime, FX and AMC so far. Still, even if it slips, it's still a welcome addition. |
| 4 | 30 Rock |
1 | ↓ | Yep, a dip. It's always tough to drop out of the top spot. People notice. People talk. They snipe. But you know what, "30 Rock"? We'll always be by your side. Even when Comcast buys you and the jokes have to change from ovens to lousy DVRs. Listen, it was a good week for "Modern Family" and the debut of a fine new drama. Don't let it get you down. Bring the weirdness next week. |
| 5 | Human Target |
5 | ↔ | See - barely any flux in the Top 5. "Human Target" remains one of our midseason favorites so far, with its alluring mix of action, intrigue, sly humor and high octane pacing. Best revelation yet is the slow but clever unmasking of the depth of each character. A series that could hold on to these heights, though the competition gets more fierce ahead. Still, "Human Target" is better than a couple of other guilty pleasures on this list and should thrive going forward. |
| 6 | Fringe |
7 | ↑ | Bloody good. And yes, we're all in it would appear after being lured in ever so slowly. Every home viewer needs two or three series they look forward to every week but don't necessarily have to watch on the night they appear. Thus, "Fringe" is a DVR dessert. |
| 7 | Better Off Ted |
4 | ↓ | This is ABC's "30 Rock," a comedy that's funny week in and week out and yet it doesn't hold mass appeal. Next week in these very rankings, "Better Off Ted" will celebrate its final standings since ABC hasn't scheduled any shows beyond Jan. 26. You know what? Forget the masses. We love "Ted" and lament that Victor Fresco, the guy who also created "Andy Richter Controls the Universe," can't get one of his shows to stick. Of course, ABC didn't do "Ted" any favors after it blew all the critical acclaim from last season by running the show into the summer with almost no advanced warning or support. And this year? Yeah, love the "Scrubs" pairing. Nice lead-in. Why not just run "The View" or something? Couldn't have been worse. Oh, well, at least we'll have the DVDs. |
| 8 | Parks and Recreation |
8 | ↔ | For everybody who used to nitpick about flux, well, this is your week. Lots of consistency. Lots of shows clinging to their prior week's ranking. If you have a problem with consistency, bring it up with Leslie Knope. We're going to let her talk to all of the people who annoy us in life. As a form of sublime torture. Still loving the show, of course. And every time we watch it, we wonder - hey, whatever happened to that series it was allegedly not spun-off from? Where did that show ever go? |
| 9 | The Daily Show |
11 | ↑ | In case you haven't figured it out yet, all the worries about whether Jon Stewart and this little gem of concentrated genius could thrive with a Democrat as president, well, fear no more. Turns out the Dems can mess things up and botch a lot of situations just like the Republicans can. See, it's politics. The opportunity for ridicule, derision, and head-shaking disappointment are endless. Stewart and the writers haven't shied away from the opportunity to satirize the side they're most sympathetic toward. See, acerbic punditry - exit polls indicate it's still useful and fun. |
| 10 | Archer |
6 | ↓ | A minor dip here, expected both because the pilot was too good to match and the competition was obviously going to increase. And yet, "Archer" is one of those new shows where even if the quality rises and falls on the strength of the punchline windfall, you never worry about it dipping too low because, well, it's absurdly funny. Oh, and Johnny Bench would never let that happen. | 11 | How I Met Your Mother |
10 | ↓ | Here's what fans should be focusing on rather than rankings: Your heroes, the creators of this shows, just got a windfall of cash in a development deal plus CBS picked up their latest sitcom, "Livin' On A Prayer," about a couple about to get married. That's good news, right? Except for the title? Well, good, then carry on. If the new show is as good as this one, we're in as well. |
| 12 | Burn Notice |
N/A | ↔ | Well, well, well. Look who's back? The Little Guilty Pleasure That Could. We've loved "Burn Notice" from the start, even though if truth be told, "Human Target" is holding our interest better. And yes, like "Fringe," this is a good DVR series, but sometimes we let a few slip. New Year's resolution is to stay current now that it's back. |
| 13 | Chuck |
14 | ↑ | Get off our lawn! We're still grumpy trying to figure out why we're on board here. Translation: We might not be much longer. Geeking out is one thing, but we're not carrying over the residual love from past seasons. So every episode has to earn its keep. This week, yeah, sure. Why not? We've been a lot more disdainful of other shows. |
| 14 | 24 |
15 | ↑ | For example - this one. Look, don't even bother with a passionate explanation of why we should be watching. We go way, way back with "24." Love, hate, funny love, boredom, disdain - pick your season. By now we ought to know better. But our adrenaline - it's a weak mistress. It can be duped. And it beats watching "Big Love," as we said last week. |
| 15 | Community |
9 | ↓ | Oh, don't get your dance tights in a knot. You dropped, but "The Good Wife" dropped off completely. And do you have any idea how much grief we'll get from the "Big Love" people about this? If they were upset that the first episodes didn't make it, what now - when there's a rally afoot to tout its creative return? Ah, don't worry about it. We're not going to cave. What should be more worrisome to "Community" fans is there's going to be a rerun up for consideration next week, and that didn't work out so well for "The Middle" this week. You can't just walk into these rankings and think you're going to make it. You need to bring your "A" game, not your reruns. Brutal! (Oh, maybe that should be next week's recap comment.) |
FALLING:
Not exactly sure what doesn't hook us and keep us about "The Good Wife." And yep, a bad week for "The Middle" to go missing. But otherwise, not much of a splash as shows fall out of the Fabulous Fifteen. Next week? A whole different story.
Reminder: If you're looking for "Friday Night Lights," we decided to wait until the NBC version airs before considering it for inclusion. Not enough people get DirecTV.
RISING?:
Is that "The Office" knocking at the door? Back from your break, are you? Yeah, well you ain't getting in with a clip show. Come back next week. And bring the good stuff. "Big Love"? Probably not. But if it helps keep down the e-mails railing about non-inclusion, then "rising" is a fine spot for it. Big week next week, though. "Damages" arrives. Hmmmm.
SUNK!:
"Spartacus: Blood and Sand." Maybe the worst show of the last five seasons. Or more. Just dreadfully bad. Starz got some ratings, though. Apparently a lot of 13 year old boys know the code to unblock the show. ABC's "The Deep End" has drowned. CW's "Life Unexpected" has not unexpectedly disappeared from our radar.
| January 26 2010 at 04:16 PM
Last Conan. What Late Night Hell Taught Us. NBC's Epic Fail. Fake NBC Apology.
NBC.
Tonight is the final "Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien" and the last time we're likely to talk much about CoCo until he gets a new hosting gig (well, that's the goal at least - Jay Leno's return may prompt more mentions). Yes, I'm hoping Neil Young tells Conan that it's better to burn out than fade away. Rust never sleeps, big red.
First and foremost, what all of this mess taught us was that late night television does well when it throws elbows and pisses people off. Too much pimping of movies and boring CW starlets has scraped the patina off what used to be a nightly ritual. That Conan/Leno/NBC/Kimmel/Letterman got into a gigantic pissing match was, let's not kid ourselves, great fun to watch. Here's the scorecard as I see it, now that it's all coming (pretty much) to an end with Conan's last show tonight:
Conan: Best thing that could ever happen to him. Be careful what you wish for, kids. Conan wanted to host "The Tonight Show" but he was never a good match. And once he got his wish, watching him was never as much fun - until NBC put a shiv in his back. Then CoCo came alive. This allowed him to prove to his die hard fans - and the desirable younger demo - that he was still funny. He was able to kill NBC in the process, take their money and in all likelihood will end up at Fox or somewhere else, his status raised considerably. He had to learn the hard way that "The Tonight Show" of his dreams wasn't "The Tonight Show" of Johnny Carson's days. It was well and badly watered down. This is the best possible result to having your dreams die.
Leno: He'll probably return to "The Tonight Show" and get all of his fans back. The 10 p.m. failure will be behind him. He's the once and future host of a show he stole from David Letterman and against Carson's wishes. But his reputation is in almost as many tatters as NBC. Painting himself as a victim of NBC "firing" him and then the innocent gee-whiz beneficiary of Conan's ouster was transparent to anyone with a brain. He's making a much-needed appearance on Oprah next week to rehabilitate his image. Another example of being careful what you wish for. At what cost, Jay? At what cost?
Letterman: The man can hold a grudge. And he's funniest when he's pissed off - fans have known that for ages. He took the gloves off and diced Leno into a bloody mess. He will undoubtedly fall behind again in the late night race once Leno's coup kicks off again after the Winter Olympics, but ratings have never been Dave's game. He's always been funnier. He'll always have that over Leno.
Kimmel: Ah, Jimmy. Don't ever change. He's never liked Leno. And he's always been fearless. Combine those two elements and you get the single greatest moment in this whole mess - Kimmel being invited by Leno to appear on Leno's show (one day after doing his own show AS Leno) and then brazenly decapitating Leno in front of the American public. Ballsy AND sublime.
NBC: Really? Need more be said about how screwed up this network really is? The best part about the entire affair - other than Conan going free - is that comedy and ineptitude allowed people outside of the industry to see what colossal mismanagement looks like. It may ultimately spell the end of the man who started this entire mess - Jeff Zucker.
But yes, more should be said. NBC sent out two press releases on Thursday when the final details were worked out. The Conan press release was terse. The Jay Leno moves back to "The Tonight Show" press release was predictably upbeat without mentioning that it all happened because they screwed it up. Here's what I wish the press releases would have said:
Hit the link for more: Read More »
| January 22 2010 at 07:44 PM
The Power Rankings! are back. Midseason scramble begins.
Welcome to the "Power Rankings!" for the week ending Jan. 17. Yep, it's been roughly a month of holiday goodness, vacation time and a minor delay as NBC imploded via the Jay Leno/Conan O'Brien late-night festival of managerial lameness. But it's time for the resurgent return of The Power Rankings! Here we are in 2010 and January is the unofficial start of what is nebulously known as "midseason." Shows are just returning to their regular pattern as new offerings pop up across the network and cable landscape. As ever, expect a ton of flux in the Power Rankings! until a rock steady No. 1 appears (we have some guesses as to which show that might be...) In the meantime, with so many series from earlier in the year on hiatus, others finished entirely, let's kick things off fresh in TwentyTen. Series that were on the list prior to the holidays will have their previous rankings noted. All others start out even. If you want to find out how the Power Rankings! are compiled and how they started, click here. And we're off:
| RANK | SHOW | PREVIOUS | TREND | COMMENT |
| 1 | 30 Rock |
5 | ↑ | Nice week to have a double-episode ("The Office" returns to its normal slot next week) and "30 Rock" proves once again why it's always a dominant presence on this list. Some great one liners, sight gags and James Franco sending himself up. Pull up a body pillow and see if "30 Rock" can maintain this slot next week. |
| 2 | Modern Family |
6 | ↑ | For those of you who have dropped the narrative thread on this current television season, the story is all about the return to life of the sitcom. Easily the best freshman comedy this season is "Modern Family," which has already been renewed for a second season. This was one of the most welcome returns from the holiday hiatus. It almost makes you wish ABC was double-running it like "Better Off Ted." Instead, we savor. |
| 3 | Men Of A Certain Age |
8 | ↑ | This unexpected dramatic delight cracked the Top 10 in its first week before TPR! took its break. Since then? The series has continued to surprise by getting better each week. Ray Romano has been a revelation - giving a shaded, nuanced portrayal of a man learning how to change his life mid-course. What "Men Of A Certain Age" has done best is to not succumb to the narrative cliches that have killed shows about midlife crises before - namely dismissive comedy that doesn't get at the darker, sadder aspects. And not treating the entire life-altering experience as some opportunity to sleep with younger women and buy faster cars. Let's hope this drama keeps on track. |
| 4 | Better Off Ted |
11 | ↑ | Yes, in case you were asking, it IS a tragedy how ABC is treating what was last season's best new sitcom. First they pair it with a bandaged up "Scrubs" that nobody was watching even when it was at its creative peak, then the promotion is weak and, lastly and most worrisome, the network has been double-running it. Translation: They are burning it off. Steve McPherson, who heads ABC, says he doesn't think it fits on the network's great Wednesday block. Um, why? It's a funny comedy. Put it where people go to find funny comedies. Don't worry about it fitting in. Because it sure isn't finding any traction where it is. Does this mean ABC will likely cancel the show? You bet it does. And Fox (which has the studio that produces "BOT") said it prefers to develop its own comedies rather than pick up someone's sloppy seconds. Reminder memo to Fox: You haven't developed a non-animated funny series in years. Enjoy "Better Off Ted" while you can, people. |
| 5 | Human Target |
N/A | ↔ | Action, thrills, a storyline that makes sense and plenty of room to grow creatively, this one looks like a hit right out of the box. The pilot will encore tonight (Tuesday, 9 p.m.) before the second episode on Wednesday (also 9 p.m.). We've seen that episode. It's another keeper. Television needs shows like this. Sometimes you don't want to get bogged down with the angst of "Mad Men" or the confusion of "Lost." You just want a smart, "Bourne"-like action series with some brains. Looks like we've found it. |
| 6 | Archer |
N/A | ↔ | The pilot was one of the funniest half hours yet this season. Some of the following episodes don't reach the same creative heights (just so you manage your expectations), but FX has uncovered a real gem in this filthy, hilarious animated series. This is instant DVR list material (but of course we knew that back in July when we saw it for the first time). All hail H. Jon Benjamin, voice of Sterling Archer. He makes it go, no matter what the line. |
| 7 | Fringe |
3 | ↓ | Like we've been saying all season (well, once we got back on board): A solid, strange, entertaining mystery every week is like comfort food. The attraction here is, of course, the "X-Files" like nature of the show and the fact it's not just a rote police procedural. The dip in the rankings merely comes from increased competition. |
| 8 | Parks and Recreation |
7 | ↓ | Still our leading contender for Comeback Series of the Year. And more proof that the sitcom as a genre is incredibly, surprisingly strong. Funnier than "The Office" most of this season, it's nice to see the writers continuing to flesh out what the rest of the cast can do. Also, the second outstanding sibling cameo of the season. What other show can say that? Go Will Arnett! |
| 9 | Community |
14 | ↑ | Yet another comedy. Go figure. And yes, our on-again, off-again concerns with this series are off. All we're doing now is just enjoying the ride. And is it just us, or does it seem like "Community" has aired like 20 episodes already? |
| 10 | How I Met Your Mother |
10 | ↔ | Fine, we'll take the bait: The whole notion of the mother is not important to us anymore. It's just a show we want to laugh along with. Pushing the mystery seems a bit tedious now. It's like an albatross. But hell, we're in this far. There appears to be no turning back. Happy 100 episodes. For a standard sitcom with a laugh track, you've done the old school genre proud. | 11 | The Daily Show |
N/A | ↔ | If you go back and look at the, ahem, metrics used to evaluate these shows and create the rankings, you'll notice what we've said from the start: scripted fictional series, whether drama or comedy, are part of our bias. Unscripted series (OK, yes, we know this is scripted, but it's non-fiction) have to be exceptional to make the list. "American Idol." No. At least not yet. "Survivor," "Project Runway" - same. But of course, "The Daily Show" IS exceptional and Jon Stewart is one of the funniest people on the planet. With fewer top-tier comedies and dramas to contend with, and because it's funny every day, "The Daily Show" rises up and kicks some ass. Welcome to the Fabulous Fifteen. |
| 12 | The Good Wife |
N/A | ↔ | Let's be clear here. "The Good Wife" is a good series. No better, no worse. Does it exceed expectations of its (mostly) law genre. Yes. But "good" shows are not supposed to be on this list very often. They should be struggling to get mentioned here, battling superior shows, putting up the "good" fight. So, with a plethora of hotly anticipated series just around the corner, we thought we'd reward "The Good Wife" with a solid ranking for a freshman season's worth of surprise quality. Just don't get comfortable. |
| 13 | The Middle |
15 | ↑ | It's the little show that could! "The Middle" was renewed for a second season on the same day that ABC re-upped "Modern Family" and "Cougar Town." Obviously, it's not in the same league as "Mod Fam." But it has appeared on this list more often than "Cougar Town" and it has beat out more rabid-fan-friendly series like "Big Bang Theory" too. They are getting the balance right on this family show and it's here because every time we tune in we're pleasantly surprised at how creatively funny it can be. |
| 14 | Chuck |
N/A | ↔ | Never thought it would happen. And frankly, it might not happen again. Having never seen the appeal of this series in the past, we gave it another try because people we like and respect won't shut up about it. Though that never swayed us much on "Big Bang Theory," it worked this time. Although it was a struggle at the start, we see the quirk and the heart in "Chuck." You have to be in the mood for it and, this week, we were. |
| 15 | 24 |
N/A | ↔ | Well, this was unpleasant. Our love-hate relationship with "24" has tilted mostly to "over it" recently. Hey, it's a great comedy and God only knows Fox can use more of those. But we vastly prefer "Human Target" now (and "Burn Notice" on USA). And yet, this week the dilemma was to go with a past-its-sell-by-date "24," or "Big Love." The latter is a high quality series that made our Best of 2009 list. But, as we remind people periodically, the quality content never translated into must-watch eagerness. For other top-tier shows, that take-it-or-leave-it element was never in their DNA. But this season even the die hard "Big Love" fans are beginning to see the fraying edges. So, strained family relations or stuff that blows up? We went with "24." |
FALLING:
So many strong series - "Dexter," "Glee," "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" are off the air now (though "Glee" will return). After an epic early season battle of "Mad Men" and "Sons of Anarchy," there's so much more flux in the rankings. Nothing has fallen off during the hiatus, but we worry about "The Office."
Reminder: If you're looking for "Friday Night Lights," we decided to wait until the NBC version airs before considering it for inclusion. Not enough people get DirecTV.
RISING?:
Again, "The Office" is a mystery. Let's hope the quality is there. "Lie to Me" will return eventually and that has been a standout network drama. Could "American Idol" be considered? Sure, why not. In the meantime, welcome back to the races - and the rankings.
SUNK!:
They don't officially count for the week ending Jan. 17, but you can definitely include ABC's "The Deep End" here and the flawed pilot of "Life Unexpected" gives way to a very bad second episode, so consider those two prime candidates to be buried early.
| January 19 2010 at 04:38 PM
A list of the lists: Comedies, Dramas, Actors of 2009; Top 25 Series of the Decade.
After immersing myself in a couple of months of Lists From Hell sorting and debating before TwentyTen came along, I dutifully posted them all here on The Bastard Machine. And then, mysteriously - though I'm thinking that spending the holidays and vacation drinking mimosas all day long had something to do with it - I inexplicably failed to post the Top 10 Series of the Decade.
Nice work, Tim. Way to close strong.
So, after being politely reminded about this a bunch of times from readers, and after getting inquiries about all of these lists from new readers (especially an influx of people who heard me talking with Bill Simmons recently - and welcome to all you folks) here are all the links. I know the one about the rules and selection process seems like an easy one to skip, but honestly, if you want to bitch about what got left out and why - and my guess is you will - then at least take a cursory scan to see how/why I winnowed down a decade's worth of options.
Lastly, it all reads much better if you mix some orange juice and Champagne in a glass (mornings and afternoons) and whatever else you might choose later in the evening hours. Cheers. And remember my mantra: Reasonable people can disagree. Also, I can make mistakes: I left "Big Love" off the Cruelest Cuts list for the decade (though it did make Best of 2009 list).
Best Series of the Decade: The All-Important Rules and Selection Process. Read before you complain.
Best Series of the Decade: Numbers 11 to 25.
Best Series of the Decade: The Top 10.
Ten Notable TV Trends of the Decade.
| January 16 2010 at 11:35 AM
Talking NBC debacle with Bill Simmons on the BS Report. Will Conan make it till Monday? Kimmel destroys Leno on Leno's show.
I got to to talk to Bill Simmons (aka The Sports Guy) and one of my favorite writers, sports or otherwise (he detours a lot into the world of pop culture, particularly television) on Thursday. Here's the link to his BS Report podcast. We talked mostly about Conan/Leno/NBC but traded opinions at the end on what to watch on TV. I think I successfully nudged him to start "Breaking Bad" on AMC. (If he gets rolling, he can finish the short Season 1 - seven episodes - bask in the genius of 13 flawless episodes on Season 2 and be primed for the start of Season 3 on March 21. Oh, and S2 comes out on DVD March 9.)
Anyway, prior to our chat, Simmons (whose work can be found on ESPN.com if you haven't read him - or in bookstores) made headlines by sending out a tweet (he's got more than a million hardcore followers on Twitter) saying that Conan's last week on "The Tonight Show" was next week, because the show's bookers were looking to land major celebrities - telling them it was Conan's farewell - before bowing out. Simmons is plugged into the late night world because he helped launch Jimmy Kimmel's show as a writer.
Of course, later in the night after we talked, Kimmel absolutely destroyed Jay Leno on Leno's own show. Neither one of us, prior to seeing it, could believe that Leno was having Kimmel on. Only a day earlier, Kimmel did his show AS Jay Leno and it was searing. But having Kimmel come on, as I said in the podcast, was further proof of Jay's bizarre need to be loved by everyone. (Or, as David Letterman said, Jay's insatiable need to be in the spotlight at all times.) Well, he's in the hot lights now. And he got no love from Kimmel, who eviscerated him in one of the most jaw-droppingly ballsy few minutes of television anywhere.
Which makes me believe Simmons' prediction that next week will be Conan's farewell might have been prematurely generous. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if NBC pulled Conan off of "The Tonight Show" TONIGHT. As my previous post here on The Bastard Machine noted, this is astonishingly bad PR for NBC. And it gets worse night by night. Somebody at NBC needs to make like Roberto Duran and get the "no mas" message out there. Well, as someone who is absolutely loving this, I'd prefer they didn't. But from a purely brand-abuse point of view, hell, they've got to make it stop.
Leno and NBC are getting killed from all sides. It's a beat down of epic proportions. Only Jerry Seinfeld - who will have his "Marriage Ref" show slip into Leno's 10 p.m. slot of failure after the Olympics - has come outwardly to Leno's defense. Of course, Dick Ebersol of NBC (among other things, he's the Olympics czar) got an NBC-sympathetic writer at the New York Times to write a story blaming Conan. Only an NBC stooge could call Conan's tenure at "The Tonight Show" an "astounding failure" without choking on the irony. If there's "astounding failure" anywhere in the air, it can be found in the smoke coming from the embers of a once great network burned to the ground by incompetent executives. (By the way, Ebersol had to admit this week that the Winter Olympics, which he oversees, will lose a ton of money. What is that, Dick, a welcome aboard present to Comcast?)
So, the question remains - how long can this car crash be televised? Right now it's the best drama on the air. As Letterman said the other day, "Are you getting tired of it? Me neither."
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| January 15 2010 at 10:25 AM
